My final dream of 2016 was a long and bizarre one involving a ghost-girl and Donald Trump. Most of my dreams are Bizarre, but this one was especially strange. Firstly, I had a jetpack throughout the entire dream as well as a partial armor suit that was some kind of cross between Iron Man, Boba Fett, and Samus Aran.

Boba Fett

I found out about this girl who died in a football stadium owned by Donald Trump, who had banned jetpacks, but I didn’t care, so I flew there to investigate. Unfortunately, I couldn’t enter because I didn’t own the full DLC for the city, so the top of the stadium was a solid floor that looked like crudely animated NES sprite of people playing baseball, although it was a football stadium.

NES baseball

However, I met the dead girl’s ghost there and found out that she was murdered but didn’t know by who. She decided to stick with me as my spooky sidekick whom only I could see for some reason.

So I went home and found out that a storm was coming, so I hastily harvested the vegetables from my garden even though the storm might cause parasites from them so masquerade as my pet Pikachu and do evil things, so I told Pikachu to just just hold on to my leg, which he did adorably. Instead of parasites this monster wasp showed up and refused to die despite being smashed with a shoe and shot with a gun. Eventually, with help from Pikachu and my roommate, which I don’t actually have in real life, we burned it to death

BeedrillPikachu

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then ghost-girl found a lead to her killer that involved a fictional ex-boyfriend of a friend of mine, so we got her help to confront him in some sort of empty stadium that may have been owned by Donald Trump. I was nearby hidden in some kind of water-filled drainage gutter waiting in case my jetpack was necessary. He ran away, and I was ready to intervene, but my friend chased him down and gave him a whoopin’ like the badass she is. We found out that he was apparently working for Donald Trump to undermine the efforts at the UNF LGBT Resource Center, so we headed there next, where we had to unblock some sort of giant rock so UNF students could go home for the summer. While there, I ran into the LGBT student I was apparently mentoring in that world (who was not the same as the one I was mentoring in the real world) and assured her/them (not sure) that we would be best friends forever.

UNF LGBT

Then ghost-girl and I infiltrated some kind of theater which was hosting some kind of cross between the Democratic National Convention and and a UNF graduation ceremony. While there, I questioned some people about ghost-girl by flying between the ground floor and balcony. We found out that ghost-girl’s mom was having an affair with Donald Trump, and he wanted to cover it up. Then Hillary Clinton started making a pre-commencement speech but was upstaged by a very drunk Donald Trump who just started showing obscenities while pockets of the crowd cheered and others literally vomited. The place was a mess and stunk.

Clinton vs Trump

After waking up and falling back asleep, I was now working for Donald Trump as an undercover agent without my jetpack. Another friend also worked there,  as his grossly underpaid secretary, which she secretly hated but didn’t want to lose her job since she needed the money. Trump had instructed me to format a hard drive, but I decided to snoop around the files and discovered an archive of Trump’s mean tweet’s about ghost-girl and her mom right has Trump had purchased that football stadium during one of his bankruptcies by using Mexican drug cartel money. Then he came into the room and told me to take a break, but not my friend–she was being worked to the bone–and to follow him. He offered me coffee, which I refused because I don’t like coffee, but he insisted because apparently no one makes coffee better than him. I still refused and he still gave me coffee and told me to drink it with just a little cream and sugar. That was when I woke up.

This was only the part of the dream that I could remember–it also had a ton more jetpack flying segments, which were super-fun. However, just like real life, this dream makes one thing certain: Donald Trump is a piece of shit.